Childrearing and family relationships are influenced primarily by family structure. The biological and reproductive unit most commonly found in the United States is the mother-father-child group. Ordinarily the parents are married, have established a residence of their own, are viewed (along with their children) as an integral social unit, and live in an intimate, monogamous relationship. Emphasis in American marriage is on pursuit of love in a romanticized way and on the individual happiness, rather than on family bonds, as in many other cultures. Yet, kinship ties are usually recognized on both sides of the family.
In many situations, however, a child may grow up in a family that differs from the typical one just described. An aunt, uncle, or grandparent may be a continuing member of the household unit; one or the other parent may be absent because of death, divorce, illegitimacy, military service, or occupation involving travel.
Families in which only one parent is living full-time with offspring are called single-parent families. Though death and illegitimacy may cause the family to have only one parent, disvorce of the natural parents is the more common cause. In most cases, these families have undergone a major change in their life-style. A parent may have died either suddenly or after a long illness. If the parents are divorced, the family may have experienced considerable disruption prior to the breakup. These families, and society, may ignore the changed family structure, since they do not fit the traditional social norm, thereby putting even more stress on people attempting to deal with the situation.
In the single-parent family, the children may experience grief for the absent parent, guilt for their real or imagined part in the loss, shame for the change in their family structure, and fear about what changes the future may bring. Roles are changed. Each person may have to assume additional responsibilities and tasks. Parents may change their life-styles. For example, mother may go to work or school; father may move into an apartment; or both parents may begin dating. An adolescent may serve as a parent substitute to younger siblings, or other children may assume new household tasks. The initial task of this family is to accept its family structure as a workable option for family living. Often an open discussion of the changed life-style, along with support from relatives, friends, and other single-parent families, enhances the problem-solving abilities of these persons. On occasion, some family members may need professional help if they exhibit symptoms of more extreme dysfunction, grieving, or prolonged “acting out” behaviors.
The remarriage of a divorced or widowed parent with children may form a composite family unit known as the “reconstituted”, “blended”, or step-parent family. These families may be formed in a variety of ways: a mother with children may remarry; a father whose children visit may remarry; either of the new partners may have an exspouse or children from a previous marriage (children add stepsiblings) and, to complicate this family even more, the remarried couple may decide to have children or their own. In-laws and several sets of grandparents complete the picture. This family is now a far cry from the typical nuclear family, and the interaction becomes increasingly complex.
Often differences in the reconstituted family are ignored since the family appears to be intact. Feelings of frustation, inadequacy, and isolation in family members stem from expectations that they feel as close to one another as blood relatives are expected to. Additionally, the various family members bring with them a history of family life that may include differing values, customs, and priorities. The absent parent may still be an active influence in the family. For instance, a divorced father may still contribute to his children`s support and spend time with them on a regular basis, but they may be living with a stepfather. Even a deceased parent is remembered, not always accurately, and sometimes the step-parent is compared to the memory.
The child`s ability to work through these feelings is influenced by his age, sex, level of development, adaptive capabilities, and the understanding and support he gets from significant adults. He may need professional help to work through the difficulties of integration into a new family structure.
The stepfamily, just as the single-parent family, needs to accept and be accepted as a combination of persons living together in a unique family unit. It is a potentially stressful situation that requires flexibility and adaptability of its members. However, this family offers many opportunities for growth and friendship through the differing experiences of its members.
Reference :
Murray, RB and Zentner JP., Nursing Concepts for Health Promotion, Second Edtion, Prentice-Hall, Inc, Englewood Cliffs, N.J, 1979.
