The size of a family is related to distinctive patterns of family life and child development. Most children in the United States are members of a small family system, that is, one with three children or less.
Common features observable in the small family system are that (1) emphasis is on planning (the number and the possibilities); (2) parenthood is intensive rather than extensive (great concern is evidenced from pregnancy through every phase of childrearing for each child); (3) group actions are usually more democratic; and (4) greater freedom is allowed individual members. The child or children in the small family usually enjoy advantages beyond those available to children in large families of corresponding economic and social level, including that a receiving more individual attention. On the other hand, these children may retain emotional dependence on their parents, grow up with extreme pressure for performance, and retain an exaggerated notion of self-importance.
The large family, generally thought of as one with six or more children, is as a rule not a planned family. Parenthood is generally extensive rather than intensive, not because of less love or concern but simply because parents must divide their attention more ways. In the large family, emphasis is on the group rather than on the individual member. Conformity and cooperation are valued above self-expression. Dicipline in the form of numerous and stringent rules is frequently stressed, and there is a high degree of organization in the activities of daily living. Or if parents lack initiative and use their resources unwisely, disorganization may exist.
A small family is small for one of two primary reasons: either the parents wanted a small family and achieved their desired size or they wanted a large family but were not able to attain it. In either case, there is a low probability of unwanted children, and they may take great interest in the children they do have. A large family, by contrast, is large either because the parents achieved the size they desired or because they have more children than they wanted. Large families therefore have a higher probability than small families of including unwanted and unloved children. For example, adolescents in small families have better relations with their parents than adolescents in large families, and mothers of large families are more restrictive toward their children than mothers of small families. This also means that lastborn children may be less wanted than the firstborn or middleborn children, especially in large families. This is consistent with what is known of abortion patterns among married women who typically resort to abortion only when they have achieved the number of children they want or feel they can afford to have. However, only a small proportion of women faced with such unwanted pregnancies actually resorts to abortion, although these women may not be happy with the child later.
Most parents are aware of greater parental skills and confidence with lastborn than with firstborn children. But this does not mean that the attitude of the parent is more positive toward the care of the last child than the first. There is no necessary correlation between skills in and enjoyment of a role. Older homemakers are more skillful in domestic tasks, but they may experience less enjoyment of them than do younger homemakers. Older people rate their marriages as “very happy” less often than do younger people. Women may find less enjoyment in the maternal role with the passage of time, although women know the difference between the romantic expectation concerning the first baby and the more realistic expectation and sharper assessment of their own abilities to do an adequate job of mothering as they face a second or third pregnancy.
References :
Bell, Norman, and Ezra Vogel, eds., The Family. Glencoe: The Free Press of Glencoe, 1960.
Rossi, Alice, “Transition to Parenthood”, in Human Life Cycle, ed. Wm. Sze. New York: Jason Aronson Company, 1975.
Murray, RB and Zentner JP., Nursing Concepts for Health Promotion, Second Edtion, Prentice-Hall, Inc, Englewood Cliffs, N.J, 1979.
